This is arguably the single most bad ass thing I have ever read in my life. Naturally, I wanted to share it with like-minded individuals who truly know "bad ass" when they see it. They were busy, so you two will have to do.
Kyle, if I may borrow one of your expressions, this list/article is tough. In fact, it's so tough, we need to think of another word for it.
Enjoy....
The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Grass is Always Greener
Isn't the grass always greener on the other side?
I used to just laugh at all those wonderful quips and wive's tales that I heard as a kid.
i.e
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"
"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side!"
"Smoking leads to lung cancer!"
"Don't leave mommy alone on days that the pool boy is coming over!"
Footnote:
(I use exclamations because my mother would say these things in an upbeat manner, she was not yelling at me. I think there needs to be another exclamation besides just !. Because authors like Sue Grafton use the exclamation point about 3,000 times in each other her novels and since most of her novels deal with confrontations involving rape and murder, I think it has lost its meaning. The written word can really now only convey two feelings. A simple, "the cat ran to the market." leaves the reader feeling like this is just an everyday benign event. While, "the cat ran to the market!" makes the reader feel as though the cat is running to the market and is about to have a violent confrontation involving one of two scenarios: 1) Rape or 2) Murder. I don't know what the exclamation point would be but it needs to be softer. Using it to just show excitement feels redundant.)
Back to the main story.
I am starting to believe all of my mom's old sayings. The grass is always greener. I was only working and I craved to be back at school. Now that I am at school I am whining to myself about how hard it is.
Are we ever going to be content as people? Will we always want more?
Is that a good thing?
I have seen people whom appear to be content and I don't think they are happy. They work at Ross.
What do you guys think?
I used to just laugh at all those wonderful quips and wive's tales that I heard as a kid.
i.e
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away!"
"The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side!"
"Smoking leads to lung cancer!"
"Don't leave mommy alone on days that the pool boy is coming over!"
Footnote:
(I use exclamations because my mother would say these things in an upbeat manner, she was not yelling at me. I think there needs to be another exclamation besides just !. Because authors like Sue Grafton use the exclamation point about 3,000 times in each other her novels and since most of her novels deal with confrontations involving rape and murder, I think it has lost its meaning. The written word can really now only convey two feelings. A simple, "the cat ran to the market." leaves the reader feeling like this is just an everyday benign event. While, "the cat ran to the market!" makes the reader feel as though the cat is running to the market and is about to have a violent confrontation involving one of two scenarios: 1) Rape or 2) Murder. I don't know what the exclamation point would be but it needs to be softer. Using it to just show excitement feels redundant.)
Back to the main story.
I am starting to believe all of my mom's old sayings. The grass is always greener. I was only working and I craved to be back at school. Now that I am at school I am whining to myself about how hard it is.
Are we ever going to be content as people? Will we always want more?
Is that a good thing?
I have seen people whom appear to be content and I don't think they are happy. They work at Ross.
What do you guys think?
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Enough Already: Trilogies
Recently, I was reading a story about Robert Rodriguez' eternally in-development sequel to Sin City when I was reminded of something: despite the fact that it's taken him forever to even mount a first sequel, he's already planning for the third installment.
It was then that I had a thought. Nay, a rant. Here, then, is an open letter to all the genre filmmakers of the world:
Enough already with the trilogies.
I'm not against sequels as a rule, I just don't think there always has to be an obligatory third installment. Rarely does the third part ever match the heights already set by the first two, and often, it can drag down the reputation of an otherwise sterling series. The list of disappointing third-parters goes on and on: The Godfather Part III, Spider-Man 3, The Matrix Revolutions, Scream 3, Superman III, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, etc.
Is it the fault of Star Wars? That iconic series was perhaps the most influential template for trilogies, despite the fact that -- you guessed it -- the third installment of the original series is widely considered the weakest. Now every studio cultivating a franchise sticks a two-sequel clause into its actors' contracts, and directors are less and less willing to give up the reins until they've reached that magic number. Everyone expects Chris Nolan back for the next Batman sequel (it's practically mandatory) and I've got no doubt that the rebooted Star Trek will spawn a fleet of sequels, just as I have a strong hunch that JJ Abrams will let one of his proteges take over the series after he helms the third film.
Would any filmmaker ever be brave enough to craft a series that consists of only two parts? While the idea of a trilogy surely satisfies that screenwriting urge for three-act structure, there's something elegant and bold about crafting a pair of filmic bookends, and it lets the second film stand on its own as an intriguing response to the first film (instead of as a waystation to the rest of the franchise). Sure, the occasional two-film series exists, but most modern examples are merely intended trilogies cut short by box-office dropoffs.
I used to give a great example of a two-film set that worked perfectly on its own: Toy Story and Toy Story 2. The first film was a giddy, nostalgic trip through childhood, while the latter was a surprisingly mature exploration of its end. Taken together they were the perfect pair, each informing the other and leading a big idea to its logical conclusion.
Toy Story 3 is currently set for release in 2010.
It was then that I had a thought. Nay, a rant. Here, then, is an open letter to all the genre filmmakers of the world:
Enough already with the trilogies.
I'm not against sequels as a rule, I just don't think there always has to be an obligatory third installment. Rarely does the third part ever match the heights already set by the first two, and often, it can drag down the reputation of an otherwise sterling series. The list of disappointing third-parters goes on and on: The Godfather Part III, Spider-Man 3, The Matrix Revolutions, Scream 3, Superman III, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, etc.
Is it the fault of Star Wars? That iconic series was perhaps the most influential template for trilogies, despite the fact that -- you guessed it -- the third installment of the original series is widely considered the weakest. Now every studio cultivating a franchise sticks a two-sequel clause into its actors' contracts, and directors are less and less willing to give up the reins until they've reached that magic number. Everyone expects Chris Nolan back for the next Batman sequel (it's practically mandatory) and I've got no doubt that the rebooted Star Trek will spawn a fleet of sequels, just as I have a strong hunch that JJ Abrams will let one of his proteges take over the series after he helms the third film.
Would any filmmaker ever be brave enough to craft a series that consists of only two parts? While the idea of a trilogy surely satisfies that screenwriting urge for three-act structure, there's something elegant and bold about crafting a pair of filmic bookends, and it lets the second film stand on its own as an intriguing response to the first film (instead of as a waystation to the rest of the franchise). Sure, the occasional two-film series exists, but most modern examples are merely intended trilogies cut short by box-office dropoffs.
I used to give a great example of a two-film set that worked perfectly on its own: Toy Story and Toy Story 2. The first film was a giddy, nostalgic trip through childhood, while the latter was a surprisingly mature exploration of its end. Taken together they were the perfect pair, each informing the other and leading a big idea to its logical conclusion.
Toy Story 3 is currently set for release in 2010.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Enough Already: The Susan Boyle Edition
I’m gonna be honest: I do not care about this Susan Boyle Britain’s Got Talent lady that is sweeping the Internet. "Break out the tissues!" warns every single freaking person who posts it online. No, I will not. In fact, here is what I’m breaking out: Son of Saul’s inaugural edition of "Enough Already," a semi-frequent rant column to be used only when I’m at my breaking point. Which I am.
At this point, the Susan Boyle YouTube clip has been viewed roughly a bazillion times. It's as though everyone on Earth has watched it already, and yet people who’ve just had WiFi installed in their caves continue to post it on Facebook every day as though it’s never been seen. It has been seen. Stop doing that.
So, in the rare case you haven't already watched this thing, here's what goes down: it's a clip from Britain’s Got Talent where this unkempt cat-lady-person, this Susan Boyle, admits that she's in her forties (THE HORROR!) and that she's never been kissed, but she wants to sing in front of a large audience with swooping crane shots, and she would really like it if producers could wildly stack the deck emotionally for her. So they do, trotting Susan out and editing her as though she is an innocent naïf who just walked on stage and hasn't already survived at least ten audition rounds in front of the show's creator/producers, one of whom is the head judge, Simon Cowell.
As Susan channels her sassy inner gumption, the audience is clearly against her -- you can tell by the weirdly mixed in catcalls and ADR’d skeptical laughter. There is even a shot of some girl rolling her eyes, and if you know reality TV at all, she definitely rolled her eyes at that exact moment and not some other moment during the four hours of taping that the producers just spliced in to kickstart their segment's narrative.
And then Susan sings "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, and it's... good. It starts off good, and then it becomes not quite as good, just kind of OK, but we're not supposed to say that? And she smiles and hits the notes even though it's not really a "smiley" song and it would be a hell of a lot more poignant if she actually tried to emotionally connect with the lyrics that kind of mirror her own situation. And then, the judges are just so amazed that someone who hasn't tweezed her eyebrows has technical singing ability, and they chastise the audience -- the same audience that they themselves have engineered and riled up to mock the ugly and inept. It's at this point that the viewer at home congratulates him or herself for knowing from the very beginning that this Susan was the real deal and cries tears of joy and immense self-satisfaction.
I’m over it. Call me insensitive, but I'm over it. Actually, you know what I'm most over? This weird prizing of humility in people aspiring to be huge music stars. The same thing goes for American Idol, where contestants like Melinda Doolittle and Taylor Hicks are rewarded for their seeming lack of narcissism, while message boards churn with antipathy toward aspirants who are perceived as "too arrogant." Yes, because that's what we hate in music: arrogance. We certainly would not like to reward that boundless self-confidence in people like Kanye West, Madonna, Mick Jagger, and virtually every single rapper who ever lived. Oh wait, we do, because we actually want our rock stars to be full of themselves. That's what makes them fun and larger than life and able to command a stadium full of people.
So, world, enjoy your Susan Boyle album full of Celine Dion covers that you won't buy. I'll just hang out, being terrible and mean and not possessing a single tenth of Susan Boyle's talent. Have at me. On eyebrows alone, I'm confident I can take her.
At this point, the Susan Boyle YouTube clip has been viewed roughly a bazillion times. It's as though everyone on Earth has watched it already, and yet people who’ve just had WiFi installed in their caves continue to post it on Facebook every day as though it’s never been seen. It has been seen. Stop doing that.
So, in the rare case you haven't already watched this thing, here's what goes down: it's a clip from Britain’s Got Talent where this unkempt cat-lady-person, this Susan Boyle, admits that she's in her forties (THE HORROR!) and that she's never been kissed, but she wants to sing in front of a large audience with swooping crane shots, and she would really like it if producers could wildly stack the deck emotionally for her. So they do, trotting Susan out and editing her as though she is an innocent naïf who just walked on stage and hasn't already survived at least ten audition rounds in front of the show's creator/producers, one of whom is the head judge, Simon Cowell.
As Susan channels her sassy inner gumption, the audience is clearly against her -- you can tell by the weirdly mixed in catcalls and ADR’d skeptical laughter. There is even a shot of some girl rolling her eyes, and if you know reality TV at all, she definitely rolled her eyes at that exact moment and not some other moment during the four hours of taping that the producers just spliced in to kickstart their segment's narrative.
And then Susan sings "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, and it's... good. It starts off good, and then it becomes not quite as good, just kind of OK, but we're not supposed to say that? And she smiles and hits the notes even though it's not really a "smiley" song and it would be a hell of a lot more poignant if she actually tried to emotionally connect with the lyrics that kind of mirror her own situation. And then, the judges are just so amazed that someone who hasn't tweezed her eyebrows has technical singing ability, and they chastise the audience -- the same audience that they themselves have engineered and riled up to mock the ugly and inept. It's at this point that the viewer at home congratulates him or herself for knowing from the very beginning that this Susan was the real deal and cries tears of joy and immense self-satisfaction.
I’m over it. Call me insensitive, but I'm over it. Actually, you know what I'm most over? This weird prizing of humility in people aspiring to be huge music stars. The same thing goes for American Idol, where contestants like Melinda Doolittle and Taylor Hicks are rewarded for their seeming lack of narcissism, while message boards churn with antipathy toward aspirants who are perceived as "too arrogant." Yes, because that's what we hate in music: arrogance. We certainly would not like to reward that boundless self-confidence in people like Kanye West, Madonna, Mick Jagger, and virtually every single rapper who ever lived. Oh wait, we do, because we actually want our rock stars to be full of themselves. That's what makes them fun and larger than life and able to command a stadium full of people.
So, world, enjoy your Susan Boyle album full of Celine Dion covers that you won't buy. I'll just hang out, being terrible and mean and not possessing a single tenth of Susan Boyle's talent. Have at me. On eyebrows alone, I'm confident I can take her.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Notes
- The things we hate about each other
- Juxtaposition of two friendships, old friends that have nothing in common anymore.
- A guy that hangs out with two different friend groups
- About identity
- Salmon analogy
- Telling friend about free water, while she bought water.
- Naked friends
- Josh, Nathan, Dan, Clint, Will
- Suave guy – “I wish I could get away with being that fake.”
- “How can you hum at a time like this?”
- “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to him as my black friend.”
- Female figure calls him out, first time he actually respects someone yet still turns her down.
- Altruistic values, he’s kind when no ones looking.
- Envious of people that are fine with being lazy
- “You’re gonna twitter about this, right?”
- “You look exactly like her, you selfish prig.”
- “He hasn’t made up his mind about human trafficking.”
Int. Coffee shop
- On a date
- He’s ranting inaudibly. He’s leaning/hunched over table.
- She’s leaning back
- Girl: Do you think I fit into this category?
- Guy: He’s in the restaurant business? So not a chef, owning a single restaurant, but a titan of the entire industry?
- So let me guess you love…
- I’m sorry, but…
- Doesn’t let her talk
- End of scene
Int. Coffee shop
- Walks in, pans room.
- Sees girl reading pretentious book
- Calls her name, she looks up.
- Guy: “Fuck me…”
- . Turns around and leaves
- Juxtaposition of two friendships, old friends that have nothing in common anymore.
- A guy that hangs out with two different friend groups
- About identity
- Salmon analogy
- Telling friend about free water, while she bought water.
- Naked friends
- Josh, Nathan, Dan, Clint, Will
- Suave guy – “I wish I could get away with being that fake.”
- “How can you hum at a time like this?”
- “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to him as my black friend.”
- Female figure calls him out, first time he actually respects someone yet still turns her down.
- Altruistic values, he’s kind when no ones looking.
- Envious of people that are fine with being lazy
- “You’re gonna twitter about this, right?”
- “You look exactly like her, you selfish prig.”
- “He hasn’t made up his mind about human trafficking.”
Int. Coffee shop
- On a date
- He’s ranting inaudibly. He’s leaning/hunched over table.
- She’s leaning back
- Girl: Do you think I fit into this category?
- Guy: He’s in the restaurant business? So not a chef, owning a single restaurant, but a titan of the entire industry?
- So let me guess you love…
- I’m sorry, but…
- Doesn’t let her talk
- End of scene
Int. Coffee shop
- Walks in, pans room.
- Sees girl reading pretentious book
- Calls her name, she looks up.
- Guy: “Fuck me…”
- . Turns around and leaves
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