At this point, the Susan Boyle YouTube clip has been viewed roughly a bazillion times. It's as though everyone on Earth has watched it already, and yet people who’ve just had WiFi installed in their caves continue to post it on Facebook every day as though it’s never been seen. It has been seen. Stop doing that.
So, in the rare case you haven't already watched this thing, here's what goes down: it's a clip from Britain’s Got Talent where this unkempt cat-lady-person, this Susan Boyle, admits that she's in her forties (THE HORROR!) and that she's never been kissed, but she wants to sing in front of a large audience with swooping crane shots, and she would really like it if producers could wildly stack the deck emotionally for her. So they do, trotting Susan out and editing her as though she is an innocent naïf who just walked on stage and hasn't already survived at least ten audition rounds in front of the show's creator/producers, one of whom is the head judge, Simon Cowell.
As Susan channels her sassy inner gumption, the audience is clearly against her -- you can tell by the weirdly mixed in catcalls and ADR’d skeptical laughter. There is even a shot of some girl rolling her eyes, and if you know reality TV at all, she definitely rolled her eyes at that exact moment and not some other moment during the four hours of taping that the producers just spliced in to kickstart their segment's narrative.
And then Susan sings "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, and it's... good. It starts off good, and then it becomes not quite as good, just kind of OK, but we're not supposed to say that? And she smiles and hits the notes even though it's not really a "smiley" song and it would be a hell of a lot more poignant if she actually tried to emotionally connect with the lyrics that kind of mirror her own situation. And then, the judges are just so amazed that someone who hasn't tweezed her eyebrows has technical singing ability, and they chastise the audience -- the same audience that they themselves have engineered and riled up to mock the ugly and inept. It's at this point that the viewer at home congratulates him or herself for knowing from the very beginning that this Susan was the real deal and cries tears of joy and immense self-satisfaction.
I’m over it. Call me insensitive, but I'm over it. Actually, you know what I'm most over? This weird prizing of humility in people aspiring to be huge music stars. The same thing goes for American Idol, where contestants like Melinda Doolittle and Taylor Hicks are rewarded for their seeming lack of narcissism, while message boards churn with antipathy toward aspirants who are perceived as "too arrogant." Yes, because that's what we hate in music: arrogance. We certainly would not like to reward that boundless self-confidence in people like Kanye West, Madonna, Mick Jagger, and virtually every single rapper who ever lived. Oh wait, we do, because we actually want our rock stars to be full of themselves. That's what makes them fun and larger than life and able to command a stadium full of people.
So, world, enjoy your Susan Boyle album full of Celine Dion covers that you won't buy. I'll just hang out, being terrible and mean and not possessing a single tenth of Susan Boyle's talent. Have at me. On eyebrows alone, I'm confident I can take her.
Yeah. I know this whole Susan Boyle thing is annoying. If you can try to forget about it because lets face it, everyone else will in about a week. She is merely an internet sensation. She is the Solidja Boy for the enclave of people who still have a hard time understanding what Youtube is. (The 50+ crowd)
ReplyDeleteCause in the end you're right. We need our superstars to be vain. This way we can put all of our hopes and dreams inside of them so we can go on with the mundane lives we have created for ourselves. Humble musicians do exist, but the masses don't give a damn and they will never truly be a megastar. This is the reason why People Magazine is thriving. People don't want people to be just people. People only care about the lives of the "people" if they are truly self involved...like the Simpson sisters.
Lets look at some Mega Stars and see if there is a formula:
Madonna: Has her head so far up her own ass that she buys up the tickets to her own concerts and gives them to scalpers so that way she can quadruple her profits. Why? Because she knows that she can get away with it and for being her age she looks incredible in spandex.
Kanye West: That guys is notorious for being a pompous ass. But we love him for it. We just say "Oh, that Kanye." If he was a gentle sweetheart, we wouldn't even be talking about him on this blog and if you don't make this blog then you haven't "made" it.
Marilyn Manson: The guy goes to the Bible belt of the U.S and tries to convert people to the Church of Satan. He isn't a Satanist himself. He just does it to piss people off and he succeedes with flying colors...mostly black.
Unless Susan Boyle ends up on the next season of Big Brother getting drunk and flashing people while claiming Irish people are only good for making lucky charms, then she will be forgotten in America's mind. In the meantime, you should try to take her cause that would still people pretty fun to watch.
I think some people are sick of the self-absorption in celebrities. Maybe, just maybe we are seeing a shift in who America looks up to. Is it possible that people no longer want to idolize people like Kanye West and Britney Spears? I think it could be. I disagree with Reid's statement , "We need our superstars to be vain." We don't. There is a difference between being confident and arrogant. Just as you say people put their hopes and dreams in pompous stars, the same can be said about Susan Boyle. People can look at her and say, "I look better than her." We find hope in people that somewhat remind us of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Madonna looks so good in spandex.
ReplyDeleteBy the way a good example of someone who continues to be humble is Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters. In every interview I read about or see him in he is grateful and somewhat unsure of why everyone thinks he's so great. I love him for that.
ReplyDeleteI am seriously so upset with you Kyle. This isn't a place to disagree.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note though. I was really only trying to argue for Mega Star status. I do think the idea of a humble star is a great idea and one that American Idol is trying to achieve. Yet, as we have seen from 90 percent of the winners, they don't last in the super star arena. Taylor Hicks, Ruben Studdard, all nice and humble...all in the past.
Carrie Underwood is one of the only major success stories but she is limited to the country music market.
Kelly Clarkson, while she had amazing success with her first album, she now no longer graces the front pages of magazines and I believe is no longer considered a Mega Star. Caitlin and I saw her in San Jose. It was a pretty small place and didn't come close to selling out. It was actually kind of sad.
Good example with Taylor Hawkins, yet I still feel that he isn't a megastar. That if he was a guest judge on American Idol 70% of America would not know who he was.
Brittany Spears is a F&*& up who despite the horrible life she lives on the tabloid front pages, she is a megastar. Selling out arenas and millions of records wherever she goes. She's not humble, she doesn't need to be. It humblability was a major concern that girl would have been forgotten after her single "Toxic" was released, the beginning of her true downfall.
Taylor Hawkins might not be a superstar but his band is. Foo Fighters is a household name. Despite all the fame they get I'd say the whole band stays pretty humble, even Dave.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you say that most of Britney's downfall came from her arrogance and narcism, or at least the people that she surrounded herself with?
Yeah. You are right about Taylor Hawkins.
ReplyDeleteAbout Britney, you are right that for some people her downfall came with her arrogance. Yet, it kept her on the front of tabloids and my sister in law just went to one of her shows and said that Britney is probably now bigger than ever.
I see where your coming from Kyle, it just seems to me that a lot of people really feed off of the awfulness of Superstars.
If Britney were a sweet and humble girl than she would be irrelevant.
I mean katy perry started out as a normal singer. A christian singer also. I think that girl has a lot of talent. Yet, people like her because she is controversial. That is what makes Entertainment tonight. I never see a headline that says, "Stay turned for a Britney where she tells the world how thankful she is and that she would be nothing without her fans."
Well, since we're all disagreeing, I'd like to throw my hat in the mix and say that I don't think people are sick of the self-absorption in celebrities. I think we'd like to think we are, but we're not. The Taylor Hawkins example is interesting, but the Foo Fighters aren't megastars. Household name? Sure. But not megastars. We're talking the cream of the crop here. I think you only get there with an inflated ego and a supremely false sense of importance.
ReplyDeleteAnd let's be honest, no American Idol winner will ever reach the upper echelons of a Madonna, Kanye West, Britney, and um... Toni Braxton. Speaking of Britney, I think her downfall had more to do with her lack of good influences in her life more than anything. Sadly, no one seems to be looking out for her best interests -- they're just in line waiting to ride the gravy train. Couple that with an unmerciful career and schedule and you have all the makings of a budding sociopath.
As far as Reid's statement goes, yeah, I don't think we need our superstars to be vain, we're just attracted to the vanity, in a morbid kind of way. We want out stars to be larger than life. Like I said, nice, humble guys don't command a stage the way overtly arrogant guys do. Rock 'N Roll is all about attitude and narcissism. It always has been. Don't get me wrong, I like hearing about stars being humble, and I think it's possible to become super famous while being grounded, it's just unlikely.
However I do agree with Kyle's statement that Susan Boyle makes us all look infinitely more attractive. I admire and respect the fact that she's willing to look absolutely hideous to boost our own self-esteem. Way to take one for the team, Susan.